Tag: humor
member name: Jan S.
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March 17, 2008 12:15 AM EDT --
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet . . .
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March 13, 2008 08:55 PM EDT --
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you."
After much thought and consideration, . . .
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March 13, 2008 09:11 PM EDT --
LOOKING GOOD
My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I might never put . . .
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March 14, 2008 10:42 PM EDT --
Tony had just finished his training session at the local McDonald's.
So he was a little nervous being behind the register for the first time. His first customer ordered a milkshake.
"Tony," . . .
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March 18, 2008 09:53 PM EDT --
A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When . . .
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March 28, 2008 12:11 AM EDT --
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time.
At the roulette wheel, she says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her . . .
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July 11, 2008 12:40 AM EDT --
Convinced the human race is totally wacko? Here are some signs of the times in support of such a view. An example is the hotel-provided shower cap in a box labeled: "Fits one head."
Others . . .
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May 01, 2009 03:37 PM EDT --
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if . . .
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February 10, 2008 01:47 AM EST --
Tom decided to buy his wife a Valentine gift
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
"That's a bit much," said . . .
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March 06, 2008 02:53 AM EST --
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 a.m. and after 4 p.m. in Norfolk, Virginia.
. . .
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March 06, 2008 02:58 AM EST --
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her . . .
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March 12, 2008 07:53 PM EDT --
When you buy anything secondhand, make sure you have everything to make it go.
A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawn mower down the street with a "For Sale" sign on it. As he . . .
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March 13, 2008 08:47 PM EDT --
It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty boring, not one single person had a BINGO all night.
The last game was up for grabs, with a huge bingo prize of . . .
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March 13, 2008 08:52 PM EDT --
During a taxi run, the crew of a U.S. Air flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
The irate ground controller (a female) screamed, "U.S. Air 2771, . . .
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March 14, 2008 01:58 AM EDT --
An elderly looking gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well-looked-after image, . . .
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March 17, 2008 01:28 AM EDT --
"Blowing out another person's candle will not make yours shine brighter."
A Gather buddy recently published an article in which she addressed the issue of some Gather . . .
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March 21, 2008 02:18 PM EDT --
My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.
"I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." . . .
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April 01, 2008 12:34 AM EDT --
I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated.
"Excuse me," I said to a casino employee. "How does . . .
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April 16, 2008 05:16 AM EDT --
This is an essay I wrote a few years ago when my parents were moving to a new home. My beloved, long-suffering husband had a week of vacation and we had a few home improvement projects and car . . .
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May 07, 2008 02:37 PM EDT --
While walking in the woods, Douglas saw a young fairy who had fallen into the river and bravely dived in to rescue her.
In gratitude, the fairy granted Douglas three wishes. He wished for a huge . . .
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